Archive for the ‘My Journey’ Category

Posted on June 4, 2009 - by bj

Habit

Yesterday, as i was leaving band practice, i stumped my toe on my emergency brake pedal while getting into my truck. And man, did it hurt. i ended up having to pull over shortly, because i realized that blood was pouring out the tip of my toe. So as i cleaned my wound, i was trying to think about why this happened. It’s not like we vary up the way that we get into our vehicles…. i wasn’t like, “hey, i’m gonna try and get in my truck this way,” and then BAM, i smack my toe! i get in my truck the same way every time, and well….this was just a freak accident. This eventually got me thinking about habits–the habits that we form and are immersed in on a daily basis. i will probably be all over the place here but hopefully it makes sense. First off, i think good habits are a good thing, but i think habits can also be our enemy–and not just bad habits either. When i think about a “habit,” i think of this broad “thing,” comprised of several other “things.” For example, i’m not married, but i have an idea of what it will be like and i know that it should be a habit for me to love my wife, if i’m blessed with one and the same being said about her. There are also going to be several things that we do to show our love. However the things that we do to carry out that love should probably vary if we want to “keep the fire alive.” If i woke up and said/did the same exact thing to my wife, it would eventually get old although they were in themselves, good things. i just used marriage because it was an easy example, but this translates to basically anything in our lives. Think about your faith. We should practice good habits–community, reading the Word, praying, etc… But, there are some things that we might do habitually that hinder our relationship with the Lord that aren’t necessarily bad things but can end up becoming distractions. i’ll let you ponder that for yourself. Miguel de Unamuno said in his book, Tragic Sense of Life, “The satisfied, the happy, do not live; they fall asleep in habit, near neighbor to annihilation.” If we’re not careful, our habits can lead us into complacency, preventing us from the life that we were meant to live. He also said, “To fall into habit is to begin to cease to be.” Habits can cause us to miss out on a lot so we should be careful. They can become the wall that separates ourselves from the world around us. Just because you’ve habitually done something that’s worked all your life doesn’t mean that there is not a new and better way to do it or that you have an excuse to be ignorant of things that can happen.  i’ll conclude by saying that we should form good habits, but be open to new ways to do things. We should always remain true to ourselves and our habits should always be encapsulated by the word of God. Be mindful of things that can happen as a result of your actions. And if you stump your toe, be more careful.

If you read this, i’d like feedback on what you think about habits.

Posted on April 27, 2009 - by bj

To honor our parents……..

So, lately i’ve been thinking about what it means to honor our parents. i think alot of times, people translate the word honor as meaning “obey.” And i disagree with that. Yes, we are called to obey our parents, but Ephesians 6 says ”Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” So there is a difference in merely obeying your parents and obeying them in the Lord. It seems as though this scripture is saying two things: 1) We should obey our parents, assuming they are followers of Christ and 2) If they are not, our decision to obey must be in line with His word. One thing i don’t know is if the word “children” is refering to certain aged individuals (as in a young child) or children of God, which would be all Christians. However, i don’t know how relevant that is to understanding what this means. Anyway, as i stated earlier, i don’t think that honor=obey. For example, if you are a believer and your mom or dad was not and you obeyed everything they commanded of you, there would clearly be some decisions on your part that were in conflict with the word of God…..b/c your parents aren’t Christ-centered. If your mom or dad said to go steal money for them to go buy drugs and you did that, you would be obeying them, but not honoring them or yourself b/c that isn’t what’s best for them and you would be breaking a commandment and the law. Basically what this translates to is that there could possibly be times that we have to disobey our parents in order to honor them. There will be times that we disobey them to “obey them in the Lord.” To honor them is to love them as Christ does, and to act as Christ would. We have to be bold and keep our faith.

i live a different life than my parents. i have hope and faith in Christ to work through me and others to reveal himself to them….i see this at work on a daily basis through our conversations, and when i’m able to spend time with them at home and it’s very exciting. But there have been many situations that required the “flipping over of a table, or two.” Sometimes we have to be bold and take a stand for what we know is right. And all of this is up for interpretation……  what do you guys think about this issue (want to add anything?)

Posted on April 24, 2009 - by bj

Water would be nice

So, i’ve been in a funk lately…..i guess the best way to describe it is just being spiritually dry, or possibly complacent. i feel like it’s stemming mainly from my personal time, or lack thereof, with the Lord. There hasn’t been a lack of daily dialogue with Him, but it’s been hard for me to stop and rest in the word—not that i don’t have the time, but that when i do sit down to read, i’m not all there. i’m very distracted by external things. Honestly, my desire to be in the word is basically missing. What i want and what i desire are two different things right now. i want to be in the word, i’m obligated to read the word, and i should be in the word….but i don’t desire it right now (i want to desire to be in the word). Because of this, i’ve noticed that i’ve been getting frustrated easily with people and i thank God that it isn’t being played out in my actions and that i haven’t blown up at anyone, but i literally feel like i’m imploding. Another contributor is a lack of community—on a one on one basis. i’m surrounded by a great group of people and we have amazing times of fellowship each week and i work with some amazing men and women everyday but it’s hard to disciple and pour into other people when you don’t have someone doing the same for you. i’ve sought that out now and the Lord has provided, which is very exciting. my mood is actually changing as a write this post. Maybe i just need to write things out more often.

Can anyone else relate?

Posted on November 16, 2008 - by bj

Update

Well, this is my first post in a little over 2 months. So much has happened between then and now and there is no possible way for me to fit everything into a single blog post, so i’ll try to keep this update as short as possible. God has totally rocked my world in these last few months–in a good way. Since the beginning of summer, i figured i would be gearing up to move to Atlanta, Birmingham, Nashville, or some other city to venture out into the world of public accounting. i wasn’t making plans, but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t expect that. i expected to be working and coming home to my “comfortable, settled” life, starting this January. Well, for this season of my life, those doors have somewhat closed but other doors have opened and new opportunities have emerged and are still emerging. Stepping back to assess the last 1/2 year of my life has shown that this is totally a God thing. These doors shut, not because of qualification issues, but b/c of timing issues, and well……His timing is perfect and this is what He had planned. The Lord is still at work here. He’s been teaching me about the life i’m called to live, which is not based on my will, but His. This is all very exciting. The uncertainty of life excites me, it’s what makes it an adventure. i’m not immune to fear, but these fears are what keep leading me to the foot of the cross. i feel like the Lord is leading me to a place where i must depend solely on Him. We hear and read about this all the time, but seldom do we live our life as if we are completely dependent on Him. We’ve got so many distractions surrounding us that depending on our own strength and other people sometimes becomes second nature. i’m speaking to myself as well. The Lord has made it clear that if i don’t willingly embrace a completely God-dependent life, He’s going to eventually force me into it. So, i can either wonder around in the desert, or venture into the promised land and experience the fullness of all that God has in store—and this is what pumps me up. And this is where i’m going to stop for now. i’ve got some more details about this that i’m going to write about, but it will be in my next post so this one isn’t too long. i wish all of you well. He loves you, as do i.

Posted on August 20, 2008 - by bj

The Beginning of a New Season

So it’s been awhile since i last posted. i’ll try to briefly sum up the last month and a half the best that i can. First off and most importantly….What the Lord is doing: God is amazing. i can’t express in words how incredibly loved we are but i know for a fact the He is at work in my life, my friends’ lives, and millions of other people that i don’t know. It’s true–He does have the whole world in His hands. i’ve realized that i’ve taken many blessings for granted or sometimes just didn’t recognize them when He placed them in front of me. He’s brought conviction to this area of my life and there is no guilt, which is what the enemy tries to throw my way. God has given me an appreciation, not only for the huge blessings in my life, but for the smaller things as well. Recently, it has mainly been the latter of the two. He has been revealing events and situations from my past where He was trying to bless or teach me something through certain people and i just chose to push it aside and not be appreciative or thankful. For example, i’ve gotten angry and frustrated with family members for no apparent reason at all, i haven’t truly appreciated the love that my family and closest friends have for me (which He was trying to show through their small acts of love), i’ve brushed off and ignored certain people when i could have given them a little of my time (which is actually His time anyway), i chose to remain spiteful or mad at certain people if what i expected wasn’t the result even though He was continuously loving and blessing me through them, and there are others. i think we can all relate to this at some point or another. Sometimes, i try to make my own definition of what it means to love and be loved. Of course, when i do this, i am usually as far from the truth as i can get. Plain and simple, God is love. Love is what it is and at it’s core it is no different for anyone. Love is constant and consistent and it perseveres through the most horrible storms. Sure, we show our love in different ways but He loved us first and through His ultimate display of love on the cross, He gave us the ability and privilege to love others for who they are as He loves them and to love ourselves as He loves us. i really am so thankful for all of the people in my life and for His never-ending love and grace. i will praise Him all of my days. Through all of this, the Lord has brought me to a place where i really just enjoy being in His presence and having fellowship with Him. This has made it much easier for Him to grow and teach me and tune my heart and mind to His.

Recent events: i finished up all of my classes at the beginning of this month—yes, i am completely done with college. That’s really weird to say, but praise the Lord. i’m working in Auburn for the fall and going through accounting recruiting and interviews. The Lord has blessed me tremendously in all of this and with my living situation, and with a new job. Being in Auburn for the fall was up in the air until about a month ago. By that time, it was really hard to find a place to live that would let me lease for the fall only and i probably would’ve had to live by myself. i was somewhat stressed and i prayed for the Lord to just take control of that situation and rid me of any worry so that my focus could remain on Him. He was faithful in that and blessed me with an awesome place and Godly community. Through a random conversation with a great friend of mine, John Pritchard, i found out that he had a room available and he said that i was more than welcome to live there for the fall. i moved in about 2 weeks ago. i’m very excited about what the Lord has in store for the season.

i was only able to go home once over the summer while i was taking classes, which was for the fourth of July. When summer finals ended, i was able to make it home for about 8 or nine days to see the family. i spent the majority of that time at my grandpa’s place, which is about 45 minutes north of Mobile (where i’m from). It was so good to see him and he expressed how happy he was to see me–another way that the Lord revealed His love. However, the night that i got to his house, i experienced a huge scare. We were sitting in the living room talking and catching up and he left and went into his room for a minute. He came back out and didn’t sit down, but stayed standing and leaned against his chair. He then said, “We need to go to Mobile. I need to go to the hospital. Something happened a few minutes before you got here and I just can’t seem to shake it off.” Of course, my stomach leaped into my throat but i didn’t ask any questions. We hopped in the truck and started speeding towards Mobile. i did the only thing i knew to do at the time and that was run to the Lord and pray and drive. After we got on the road, i asked him what happened. He couldn’t really explain it but from my understanding, he had fallen asleep in his chair and awoke to use the restroom. He got up from his chair and almost collapsed on the floor. After taking time to gather himself, he got some water and sat back down. However, he remained light-headed and felt extremely weak. He felt very hot and his body became very flushed. This was right before i arrived.
So we keep driving and he decides to call 911 and speak with someone about what happened. The person told him that an ambulance was close to where we were and advised us to meet them. After talking with my grandpa, we felt that this was the best thing to do instead of driving all the way to Mobile. So we met up with the paramedics and they ran a bunch of tests. i continued to pray and was able to get in contact with a couple of my friends to let them know what was going on so that they could be praying for him as well. My grandpa struggles with high blood pressure and periodically with an uneven heart beat (which i think is known as a murmur). He does take medicine for all of this. Anyway, his blood pressure was pretty high when we got there but it eventually came down. After they finished running the tests, they said that they didn’t find anything abnormal and my grandpa was feeling much better by this time, but if it happened again, to call them or head to the hospital. Otherwise, they said that he could go home. He didn’t have anymore problems while i was there and we had an incredible time together. What an amazing and faithful God we have!

The Friday after i got in town, i went out with some friends that i hadn’t seen in awhile. i had a great time. After it had gotten late or–to be correct, early in the morning, we decided to head home. i had to take people home and we were waiting around outside to make sure we had everyone and i ended up meeting a guy named Randy. He had his drink in hand and he was probably in his mid 40s. His teeth were missing and his body wasn’t well taken care of. i figured he was either homeless or close to it. He did have a job so he had some type of income. We chatted for awhile and by this time, everyone was ready to go. i told him that i needed to leave and he asked for five dollars to help him get a cab ride. i asked him where he was going and he said an area that i knew was pretty far away–far enough that 5 dollars wouldn’t get you there. i became skeptical and a taxi was right across the street so i told him that i would ask the cab driver how much it would cost to take him to where he wanted to go and i would just give the money to the cab driver. i started walking that way and Randy then starts trying to persuade me, “Hold on man, you ain’t gotta do all that, man just wait…i will get another cab up the street, just hold on man….” Of course i knew now that he really didn’t need a cab ride and made up my mind that i wasn’t going to give him the money. But before i could leave, the Lord said, “Give it for me. Any act of kindness or service done in My Name never goes unnoticed.” So that’s what i did. God revealed His love for Randy through my deed, however, what i failed to do was share the Good News in word. We are called to preach the gospel in both our words and our deeds. God has revealed that this is something i need to work on by completely and wholeheartedly surrendering to Him. i have no doubt that the Lord can turn any small seed of faith into something large and amazing. This is my hope and prayer for Randy and for you.